Saturday, 31 December 2016

My 2016 in a nutshell

Don't quite know how to start seeing as I've abandoned this space for a terribly long time and also taking into account that 2016 has been the single most emotionally and mentally trying of years. Of course I'm not going to attribute my string of misfortunes as a result of the banal changing in numbers at the end of every 365-366 day cycle but here is my 2016 in a nutshell anyways.

1) Graduation & Ennui

It's been a heady whirlwind of emotions from disbelief, elation, relief, confusion and a pang of regret that I bid farewell to my college days.

As with the end of every so-called "life changing" event, the dust eventually settles and we're left with a deafening silence in anticipation of what's to come. Being completely frank about this, I don't know. I've been questioning many convictions that I've held fast to. The general listlessness and restless energy that hasn't been going into anything particularly fulfilling or productive hasn't been a picnic to handle and admittedly, I spent the better part of the year worrying that I was and am never going to find anything I truly felt was meaningful. Realising however that this is a problem and seeing that it's one that many (not just millennials) face, I don't feel so ill at ease anymore because mistakes are inevitable, the future will come, we will all turn to dust eventually so might as well try to take things head on doing something than sitting around worrying sick about it.

2) Europe

Will talk about my trip in another post. To say that I've had...more comfortable, stress-free and easy holidays would be a severe understatement but for everything that happened there and whatever I managed to see and experience, I had an unforgettable time and though it really did test my patience, I learned more about myself than I could have possibly imagined. Can't wait to head back <3

3) Theft & Betrayal

While I've never liked to admit it, I've always been too sentimental and too willing to trust for my own good. It's my singularly worst and maybe best trait. I'm not trying to sit here and praise myself for it because as far as I've seen, being nice has done me much more harm than good. In August when I was trying to purchase my ticket to Amsterdam, my card bounced and I found out that someone had pretty much drained my account by making multiple purchases and transactions (online shopping and whatnot).

Naturally I was furious because having to pay for most of my Europe trip expenses myself and having painstakingly saved up for it, I was quite broke as it was. Reporting it to the bank and the police got me nowhere and I pretty much gave up on finding the culprit until very recently when a friend of mine told me his account was also close to emptied due to credit card fraud as well. He found out that it was one of my closest friends, for anonymity's sake let's call her A. The calls to PayPal were made, the evidence found and the confrontation had whereby A confessed to stealing from him as well as another one of her good friends although she lied about ever stealing from me.

Making my own calls to PayPal only confirmed that it was indeed A who had been stealing from me back in August and well, considering she was one of my closest friends, she was one of the first people I confided in. Pretending to be equally shocked and disgusted that someone could to that to me, she offered to track down the culprit, go to the police with me etc. etc. She played her part very well I must say. If anyone should get an oscar more than DiCaprio, it would probably be her and I'm sure the academy would be ringing her up any day now.

Stealing is one thing, stealing from your closest friends is another. I was ready to forgive her if I knew she was stealing for the sake of her family, to put food on the table etc. but the fact that she spent my friend's money on Ultra music tickets, the fact that she spent my money shopping and cabbing almost everyday and treating herself to luxuries I can't even bear to give myself, was unforgivable and abhorrent. I had known since year 2/3 of Uni that she would take money from my wallet and would frequently not pay me back for meals, cab etc. which I really didn't mind because I felt sorry for her. I thought she must have just been very desperate and knowing about her family background (which I'm not even sure may be true anymore) I decided that it was my duty as a friend. Needless to say, I was more disappointed than anything when I found out that this girl, who I've brought with me on family dinners, who I've let sleep in my bed, who I've opened my heart completely to, would betray me so readily and steal without remorse, without hesitation. It is not unlike the betrayal of finding out your boyfriend or girlfriend has been cheating on you because it is the same shock of realising you were wrong all along about someone you thought you knew. As I said, I thought I could forgive her if she genuinely had a problem or if she needed this money to feed her family but stealing to further her own social standing or appear to be like one of the many "influencers" is simply heinous and incredibly shallow.

While I can spend the next half an hour furiously typing about how wronged/hurt/disgusted/disappointed/angry I feel about the hypocrisy of it all, I'm just going to let it bleed into my next point.

4) Rumours

As sad as it is, there isn't a single person I know who has never been a victim of rumours or lies (be they malicious or not). With every rumour, it may be true, it may be partially true or it may be a complete falsehood (which most of the time it is). I found myself to be plagued with certain rather pernicious rumours and being not completely unfamiliar with these things, I simply let it slide because why let these things bother me when I alone know the truth? People like to gossip, add lies and little anecdotes because who doesn't want to seem clever? Mix the truth with the uncertainties so in the end you're left with something sensational that may seem true and more often than not, people are more than happy to lap it up as the truth because why not add some dramatic flair at the expense of someone else eh?

Everyone's made mistakes and nobody likes having their mistakes paraded in front of them. I too have made my fair share of mistakes and regrettably poor choices but I have nobody to answer to or account to but myself. Unfortunately after the aforementioned theft case, coupled with the fact that I felt like I was constantly forced to explain myself to people about things that were laughably untrue, I must admit my faith and trust in humanity was at rock bottom. The disillusionment in people was overwhelming.

While I myself was stumped for a prolonged period of time as to why I was letting such things affect me so, I realised it was because as much as I may try to convince myself of how much I have grown to severely dislike some people or society in general, my secret love and hope for them was the reason for my absolute disappointment and subsequent melancholy.

The feeling of groping through life without knowing who to trust (sometimes not even yourself) is crippling. Coupled with certain rather unfortunate things that happened earlier in the year, I confess that I let my despair carry me through the ensuing months.

5) Fin

Now, I'm not saying all these things because I wish to wallow or mope in this depressive state but because I don't think I've ever counted my blessings more collectively through my 23 years of life, than I did in this year alone. For one, I have never been more grateful for my family for the tireless support and advice. Even when I was proving difficult to take care of. My friends, who have shown me that I can't let one bad seed turn me hard or cynical because they know that will pain me more than anything. For my dog of course, for always obliging me with a hug whenever I need. And finally for everyone and everything that gave me such a hard time this year because without you, I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't have learned so much and yes I wouldn't have gotten a couple more wrinkles and sleepless nights this year but for what it's worth, I'm glad and I know eventually this will all make sense.

For anyone reading this, maybe this post didn't mean anything haha and well maybe it shouldn't. It's just another post on another blog by another girl. But if you've had a hard year too, if you've felt like giving up on things, just know that I fully empathise with you. Only a fool will truly believe that the turn of a year can help turn the tide because only you can help yourself but just know that you're not alone and no matter how bad things get and how shit some people may be, there is always good and there is always a way.

Happy 2017 and good riddance 2016! :)

Sunday, 13 September 2015

Gold Coast 2015

HI GUYS!!!:) Ok finally had some time to write cause I’m staying in today. My god, Sg has been crazy with the haze and the GE. Not gonna launch into a rant on my political views here anytime soon DON’T WORRY hahahah.

Ok so I went to Gold Coast for a week and I know Gold Coast is kind of a family place compared to Melbourne and Sydney but everything's so picturesque and so many people there have their own yachts and boats docked right outside/behind their homes.
 Love how big the waves were <3

I love how slow and peaceful Gold Coast is. They have such green pastures and open spaces with cows and sheep roaming about, it's so cute. Wish I could have stayed at the beach house forever :'( It was about a 7-8 hour flight there and I didn’t sleep a wink cause Scoot is just so exceedingly uncomfortable so when I got there I was mofo tired but totally worth it.

It was/still is Winter in Aussie. The weather in the day is pretty awesome especially when the sun is out cause it’s perfect for everyday summer clothes (I guess.. depending on your tolerance to cold and winds) but it got crazy chilly at night (around 7 to 9 degrees though). The place we stayed at was absolutely amazing though <3 super gorgeous

With such a tight schedule, I didn’t get to do everything I wanted/had on my list but here's my list anyways! I hope you guys go with better planning and more time on hand than me :(

This was my list:
  • Theme parks: Movieworld, Wet N Wild, Dreamworld
  • Alpaca Farm (one where you get to cuddle and feed them)
  • Horse Riding
  • Shopping
  • Dirt biking (ok I know I can only ride bicycles FOR NOW but if I could, I definitely would try this)
  • Star gazing
  • Surf (when it's not Winter)
  • Gun range (I put this as far away from the Alpaca Farm as possible)

Movieworld, Wet N Wild, the farm, Australia Outback Reserve and Dreamworld are all located around the same area so it makes sense start your day early and make your way around. We (or rather I) really like to sleep in though so we went had even less time...


This little goat was so cute it was like dancing on it's hind legs HAHA

The sky in Aussie is so incredibly blue and clear <3

 Derp face
 The alpacas were too damn cute <3 they're so wolly and their faces are so dazed and stoned HAHAHA. They spit and honestly aren't very friendly though I guess if I were an alpaca I probably wouldn't be very receptive to random people coming to hug me everyday.
How I get food all over myself when I eat too

Love the way the kangaroos just lie around like that HAHAH legs spread and airing their things
I was honestly a little scared of the kangaroos though cause my friend got kicked by one the last time?! YES DEBS IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU HAHAHA.

I really wanted to go to Dreamworld but we got dropped off at Movieworld instead so we just went ahead with it but if you’re bigger on thrill rides, I’ll definitely go for Dreamworld instead. They have these “Big 9” thrill rides that sound mad insane <3 And you can download the Dreamworld app that helps you organise how you want to spend your day there including a digital planner and map.

We got to Movieworld pretty late so we had about 2 hours to play but that was actually more than enough I’d say?

There are only about 5-6 “big” rides in Movieworld and of that, 2 were under maintenance (check their website before heading down :) ). There’s Batman, Arkham Asylum, Justice League, Superman, Scooby Doo, Green Lantern and Wild West Falls.


The latter two are temporarily closed and I wouldn’t waste my time on Justice League; it’s something like Disneyland’s Toy Story space shootout ‘cept this is a real bore. Batman was scarier than I expected and so was Scooby Doo actually (feels like Disneyland’s Space Mountain). Arkham Asylum will really make you a little kooky after cause the roller coaster’s shaped like a corkscrew and it goes upside down 5 times so don’t eat anything before this :/ seriously.. or there WILL be projectile vomit

Really can't wait for Halloween this year!! Harley Quinn ;)

SUPERMAN WAS OMGAWD AMAZING?!!? Makes all other rollercoasters feel like child’s play (yes even Battlestar). I didn’t think it would go so fast tbh but when this ride does jet off, you will feel like you left your stomach back at the start. LAVVVV IT.

As for merchandise and food, Disneyland and USS beat this place hands down. I did end up buying two Batman sweaters though cause I’m still a sucker for merchandise…and also…BATMAN <3

I ate so much everyday there though and the supermarkets are massive. The food is so fresh and cheap compared to Singapore? One box of strawberries there costs 2 bucks and in Sg it can go up to 8?? We cooked our breakfast most days!

With so many steakhouses and Fish N Chips houses to choose from, it’s pretty hard to make an informed choice and honestly I don’t know which are the best ones in Gold Coast either but I went to Charis Seafood and OMG SO GOOD I SPASMED. Didn't get a chance to take a picture of the food though cause we had to simultaneously fight off seagulls while eating -_- I kid you not, the seagulls there can only be called modern day flying dinosaurs. They're HUGE and have absolutely no respect for humans. And there's this other bird ok I have no idea what on earth it is but it's terrifying af AND IT'S BEAK IS MOFO LONG AND SHARP. AND these birds come peck your ass while you eat btw (YES I TOTALLY GOT MY ASS VIOLATED BY THIS BIRD) I was just sitting there eating when I felt something at my butt and saw THIS thing behind me?!?!


You can only imagine my horror. I know people always say birds are harmless BUT NO OK THEY ATTACK HUMANS. At least two of my friends have been pecked by crows ohgod my biggest fear. JUST LOOK AT IT'S BEAK. That thing could take an eye out easily.

Ok sorry I got sidetracked.. I REALLY HATE BIRDS BUT OK ANYWAYS, I love the concept of Aussie’s Fish N Chips places cause you get to pick out your fish and whatever other seafood you like (fresh oysters and cold crab) and they fry it for you on the spot. Nothing in sg comes close. And their oysters are so fresh <3

Surfer's Paradise was such a sight <3 I LOVE the beach. I wish I could open a bar and get a beach house and just live off that...

Surfer's Paradise is kind of like the Clarke Quay area? They have some bars and clubs there though it feels very much like San Francisco with all these small shops lining the streets. They have big brands too but mostly Roxy, Uggs, Ripcurl and other Australian brands. Unlike everywhere else we'd been throughout our stay here, this area was the most crowded I guess mostly because it's a tourist area.


The waves were so big and the water and sand there are so clean. Singapore really needs to up our beach game man. Sentosa is like meh and let's not even talk about the state of East Coast's waters.


Honestly the water was pretty cold but we were running around so it wasn't that bad UNTIL we came out. The sea breeze there is mad strong but there were some people surfing though! :)

Went for a buffet at the Palazzo Versace Hotel which is one of the only (if not the only) Versace hotels in the world. Everything from the floor tiles, ceiling and even the plates and cutlery are all Versace and designed in Neoclassical fashion.

I may not be an expert on architecture but this place is gorgeous. The baroque styled hotel has drawn celebrities from Chris Brown to U2 and the Rolling Stones apparently but I DIDN'T GET TO SEE ANYONE :( maybe cause I was too focused on my food.

Come check this place out if you guys are ever in Queensland cause it's the world's first fashion branded hotel and the buffet spread is amazing both in terms of freshness and variety.

Cav's steakhouse was another award winning restaurant we went to. The grain-fed wagyu and tenderloin are divine <3

  The pork ribs made a pretty decent appetiser to share before the actual steak
    My medium eye-fillet MMM...

Headed out on the yacht on one of our last days there. It was/is currently whale watching season and there are tour boats that bring you out to sea. We didn't get to see any whales but some dolphins in the distance though!

HAHA don't worry I didn't drive. If I did, I probably wouldn't be alive to write about it.
 If only I could become a full time Malibu Barbie :(

Nothing but open waters :) and the water there is so clear and blue! I kept worrying bout sharks though :/

 It's amazing how the backyard is the ocean??!? I would be so happy to live there forever. Having the freedom to drive your boat out to the middle of the ocean whenever you want to is amazing

Ok that's about it. Will post a video of it when I'm not so busy! This coming week is gonna be crazy. Can't wait to catch a breather. Alright catch you guys next week maybe during F1 and Ultra Music Festival! :)

Have a great week ahead guys!